I’m leaving my husband.
The day after Richard's birthday on Sunday, I’m taking all of our stuff and heading 2000 kilometres north.
I’m going to miss him like crazy. (Did I mention it's only for a month?)
My husband is my rock. And I’m his rock. We are like two rocks on either side of a teeter totter, balancing each other. When he worried, I’m reassuring. When I’m upset, he’s comforting. Most of the time we’re both pretty level and because of each other we never fall off.
Richard has been there for me in every step of my journey for the last 14 years. He’s helped to prop me up when my confidence has faltered, giving the strength to do the things I’ve done. Together we’ve had an impossibly rich past and we’re looking forward to an equally fulfilling future.
Rich has stepped up in so many ways. He took a job as a part-time bus driver when our business was struggling and at this very moment he is working on getting certified as a teacher in Canada so we can have a stable future. He steps up, but more than that, he’s always positive about it. Since he started teaching again, he has found a deep joy in the profession and has enthusiastically thrown himself into work.
Our relationship is not perfect by any means. We argue like everyone else. Also, he tends to abandon his shoes at the front door instead of putting them away which is infuriating. I’m sure I have also some annoying traits, although I struggle at this moment to think of any. Despite the shoe abandoning, I will always love Richard for many reasons, but two of his fundamental characteristics stand out.
One, he is a genuinely good person. This impression is what drew me to him when we got together after I got over disliking him for criticizing my lab cleaning skills. He really, truly cares about people. And he’s interested in them.
When we were photographing weddings he cared about each and every couple and regularly went above ad beyond. It wasn’t a sales technique, or brown-nosing, it was just his way.
Two, he believes the best of people. I tend to be on the more cynical side of the scale, looking for an ulterior motive. Rich gives people the benefit of the doubt. The downside is that he is constantly falling for telemarketing schemes and door-to-door salesmen. This is why we paid $500 to improve our rankings on Google (didn’t work) and why we changed to a more expensive electricity company. But I wouldn’t change him for all the tea in China.
Over time, his faith in people has rubbed off on me and I’m richer for it. Instead of spending my time waiting for the other shoe to drop, I can just enjoy life. When I find myself bracing for a shower of shoes, I’ve got Rich to gently encourage me to look up at the clear skies.
Not to mention he's a great father, teacher, partner, driver, cook, dog-owner, he's fun, strong, goofy, loving, hard-working... the list goes on.
So I’m leaving my husband and I’ll miss him, but I don’t feel sad. At the risk of being completely sappy (I figure at this point I’m about 90% covered in sap) I know our bond will not be affected by mere kilometres. And my foyer will be so tidy.